As many of you may know, I'm getting married this year (2015). To a final year medical student. Yes, in my final year. Questions like "Where do you find time to organise stuff?!", "Wait, YOU are getting married to that beautiful woman? Does she know?" and "Will there be an open bar?" have arisen quite frequently. Although the latter two are valid questions, let's focus on the first one.
Contrary to popular belief, and to how you're feeling right now, there is a world outside of medicine. It's not just a fairytale written by J.R.R. Tolkien. And realising that is quite important if you're to stay sane, or at least something close. Medicine is an all-consuming lifestyle which won't change until you're a hotshot consultant doing video lectures from your yacht off the coast of your private island. And to think, we choose to do this to ourselves. Thankfully there is a but.
I've come to realise that I don't have much in common with people who don't study medicine. Also, I always get bombarded with questions about lumps and bumps that I really didn't want to hear about from someone I went to school with. Or from my mother. Plus it always gets awkward when I ask someone to pass me that glass lateral to the book. And it isn't just me.
So making friends in Medical School is really important. They will understand your struggles, your tiredness and your jargon and will laugh with you when you joke about polyps. Finding time to spend with these very important people outside of lecture theatres and wards is sometimes difficult, but is a must. Go to the movies, drink wine, go to festivals and have fun. Weekends aren't just for studying, and enjoying life is bound to make it easier to study the next day. Unless you have a hangover, which isn't what I'm getting at here, either.
I've also been asked by prospective students (especially graduates) whether it is possible to have a family and study medicine. The truth is, yeah, absolutely. Look, it won't always be easy and it will take a lot of understanding on the part of your spouse, but it certainly is possible. You also won't become "that strange person living in the room upstairs" to your children. My friend has a family and manages to go away for long weekends without having to stress about the reality that is exams. Granted, it takes a lot of prioritising and working hard the rest of the time, but it's possible and shouldn't be a deterrent.
What if you meet the one in medical school? Should you wait until after your studies or get married as soon as possible? It depends, really. If you have the financial means to get married in your final year (like you're getting married to a chartered accountant, or you've saved up, or that aunt you haven't spoken to in years has left you a pretty penny in her will), sure why not! Claudia (my future wife, for those who don't know) and I are doing a lot by ourselves. The invitations were handmade, the gifts were skillfully (of course) designed, the table decorations crafted, etc. The trick to it all is time management. We spent many nights doing all of these things, but studied really hard to make sure we can afford that time. It was fun and made for a good getaway from the books.
It's definitely worth having a life outside of medicine. The trick is to strike the right balance between fun and work. If you already do these things, or you really don't like people and prefer to spend time with only your books (which I totally get), good for you. Just make sure you do what makes you happy and become a doctor at the end of it all.
P.S To put this into context, I'm typing this a few days before my final year Internal Medicine exam. Let's hope that goes down well.
